Socializing (also called “small talk”) is usually an important part of business relations in the English-language business culture.
It’s when you have informal conversations with colleagues or business partners during the coffee break or other similar situations. ☕
They’re conversations about sports, travelling, food, hobbies, and similar general topics.
Most learners say they feel kind of lost and nervous when they need to small talk in English.
Interestingly, they feel more confident using English in their usual business meetings.
But when it’s time for that coffee break with colleagues or business partners, their knees begin to tremble.
- What to talk about?
- How to chat in a casual way?
- How to avoid asking too many questions?
All these are real fears that can erode self-confidence when socializing in English.
But situations should not make you nervous.
Let me explain how to turn them into a great English learning and practice opportunity instead.
1-Minute Tip
To get started building confidence, do this first:
In small talk, learn to be a listener more than a speaker. 💡
A listener who gently guides the conversation with short comments and other communication tools.
This is what I call a “prompting listener.”
A listener who participates actively but doesn’t say a lot.
Instead, it is the speaking partner who speaks more.
Yet, the conversation feels balanced.
And, the conversation flows.
Here’s what to do as a prompting listener:
✅ Ask questions. Questions are key, we know. The problem is that feeling nervous can make you fire question after question. Only. Which can make you sound like a pushy journalist. So, you need other tools as well.
✅ Learn to blend in filler words like ahm, wow, really, nice, etc. This is very natural, in fact. Most people do it in their native language. Just observe yourself next time you are chatting with friends in your first language.
✅ Spice it with simple echo-type questions. These are unreal questions. They simply repeat some part of the information that the speaker has just said. The effect is: the speaker usually perceives this as interest and will continue speaking and give more information naturally.
Using a mix of these tools means more speaking time for the other person, and more listening time for you.
More listening time for you = less stress 🙂
Less stress means a more enjoyable conversation.
More enjoyable conversations will make you feel more confident.
Which projects a better image of you.
Which is important for business.
After all, business is done between people.
Following a nice coffee break small talk, the next meeting will be filled with more trust and personal touch. 📈
Summary
Learn how to become a prompting listener instead of a passive listener.
Listen more than speak until you gradually build confidence in speaking.
Give yourself time.
Hope this tip helps to see why making small talk is important and how you can improve yours.
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